Randomness...

Its been quite a while when I actually wrote down something that buzzed inside my head. Thoughts are bizzare things, they take you to realms where you don't intend to go. They question you. They constantly follow you. Even in your sleep. Right now, my existence is "Random". I came across these lines a few minutes back. I'm wondering why I never read any of the things written by Harivanshrai Bacchhan. But yes, there is something that he wrote... I liked quite a bit.

" Mitti ka tann
Masti ka mann
Shann bhar jeevan
Meraa Parichay...."

People say I don't take things seriously enough. Maybe I don't. But thats only when I don't really care. And there only very few things that I actually care about. I could use the fingers only on one of my hands to count them. I also set high standards for the people around me. And when they don't stand upto to them I stop caring. And yes, I am completely aware that I'm not perfect. Infact I also know that I'm one of the most difficult people to be with. But that isn't really my problem. Isn't it? (Note: Count the number of times I used I don't care !!)

I like jogging alone. With music in my ears. Its my best part of the day. I like floating on the water too. Staring at the sky. It creates a standstill.

I want the vodafone dog. I want him to watch the IPL matches with me. An dance with me everytime Kolkata Knight Riders win. I know thats not possible.

Its wierd how "looks" mean everything to most people.

I've gained 5 kg's in the past 4 months and I ate almost half a bottle of nutella a few minutes back. I don't feel guity. Maybe I will, when my jeans stop fitting me.

My life between 2001-2006 was crap. And I realise it only now.

My life since 2007 has been unbelievably amazing (omitting just a few months). I know the reason. This same reason could have made 2003-2006 also tolerable. But like they say, its destiny.

I dislike a lot of people. The threshold level of tolerance is the lowest in me. But I also feel, that most people are such big suck ups that they don't even have the guts to say that they dislike someone.

I'm feeling good after I wrote the previous line. I should stop writing now. Full stop!!

The Damsel in distress waits for her Knight in shining armor....

Simple Brilliance.

This too shall pass....
And I'm gonna hang on...
Coz if I don't...
I'm gonna let go...
Let go of myself...
And all that I ever was...

And she says it all....

I can't think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose... there are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field.


You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

-Meredith Grey
Greys Anatomy.